Well I am quite happy with him. Though I am definitely resting my hands over the weekend.

Not much to report on. Still happily living off of macaroni and cheese and Ramen with veggies. And toast. And cereal. It's still a very exciting life I lead. So I'll move on.


(Originally posted on Shiny Things' Tumblr yesterday.)

I'm asked occasionally about what it is that keeps me working. Why I keep taking on mildly insane projects, despite my jokes about one day needing replacement hands and wrists just to continue on not quite being jokes. There's soreness and pain at the end of every week. My hands always look horrifying, like I've been playing with barbed wire. I don't count project time in hours, but days. Weeks.

My usual answer is, "I can't do anything else." And while there's humor in that, there's certainly truth. Customer service definitely wouldn't work for me. ("The customer is always right until the customer behaves like a spoiled brat and needs to be treated like one.") Specialization would require education, which would require me to pay attention to something that I don't find the least bit interesting. (Retain facts? Are you kidding? I have to do math to remember how old I am—and this requires remembering what year it is currently.)

I think I've finally found the real answer, though: Defiance.



Punk is my thing. Not that later California screaming crap; I mean punk. I mean putting your frustration to music and peppering it with equal parts rage and humor, learning how to play your instrument as you go in theory. And later came New Wave (a.k.a. art geek punk), which is like giving the end of the world a wink and a smile and enjoying every last second until the apocalypse.

I make things in defiance. There's a neurological disease that runs in my family which I seem to have inherited, common symptoms ranging from shaking hands to tensed and painful muscles that make working far less than pleasant. So you know what I do?



I make something beautiful. I know, I don't mean to sound quite so full of myself; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But you see, I find them beautiful. I make them for myself, though I'm quite happy to share them with others. They make me smile when I look at them. They bring me joy.

Joy and beauty are my defiance against pain and frustration. Finding something that I can do with this faulty body of mine, and then go a little further every time to see just how far I can take it. That's something like fun.



It's love too, of course. Love for the result, for the creative process, for the initial inspiration. Sometimes just love for the exploration, having absolutely no idea what I'm going to wind up with at the start and then surprising myself thoroughly. They always surprise me.

I don't keep pushing myself in order to prove anything, either to myself or anyone else. Sometimes the reasoning is as simple as just wondering if I can pull something off. More often than not, though, I continue because there's this little voice that says, "Not yet. I'm not me, yet. Keep going!" It always pays off.



People have asked how I can stand to sell certain things. As if what I'm doing is giving birth to them and then handing them off. I just can't see it that way. If something made from my hands gives even a sliver of the joy to another person that the creation has given me, then it brings me just as strong a joy to hand it over. To let something take its rightful place.

Granted, you know... I still need to be paid for it. I can't very well afford to make more things otherwise. Shame the world works that way, though.



You'll probably find me at the end of the world, last fragile moments of existence, cursing the thread that decided to knot up just before the last couple of stitches again. Because seriously. Seriously. It doesn't want me to finish this one last project before the end of the freaking world.

And now a few links, because... links. I'm admittedly a little concerned not over Kotaku making a big deal out of yet another rumor that Versus has stopped production (it's Kotaku, after all; there are no slow news days when you make your own shit up), but that there has been no statement made at all. There are announcements planned in September, though, so... I'll just keep hoping.

I'm also a little concerned that the last few Tamashii Nations sneak peek didn't include any Tiger & Bunny figures, but they may have separated T&B from those "other" product lines. Heh. H-01 rant, you know it by heart by now.

And while we're talking on slightly unsettling things, What may be the world’s first cybernetic hate crime unfolds in French McDonald’s, and the not-so-helpful follow-up. The future isn't exactly looking bright, here.

So let's focus on a much brighter future and Ron Gilbert talking complete sense: "You have to do what you want to do, and you have to do what you think is the right thing to do and what you think is the best thing to do. People who like what you do and are fans of your work are just going to like what you do as long as you do something true to yourself. You can get into a lot of trouble when you start to worry too much about what people are going to think because then you start to get into this weird self-censorship cycle. You do something that might be interesting and different and unique, but you become too worried what people are going to think, and you censor it." LISTEN TO THIS MAN.

And finally, I'm just utterly fascinated by the idea of trying to develop a menu for a mission to Mars. And for the time people stay there. And for the trip back. You better include lots of chocolate. And Doritos. I mean... Doritos.
lhexa: (literate)

From: [personal profile] lhexa


Defiance is one of the better reasons you could find to make art, I think. For my part, in those rather frequent periods when I feel on the verge of collapsing inward, I can at least remind myself that I'll leave behind some damn good writing should I go.
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